I moved in last September. Over the past 8 months, I was learning (still am!) to be patient, wait, and pray. That's very hard. When I moved into our neighbourhood last September, I was excited to be meeting people and building friendships. Then Calgary winter happened, which is cold and dark and snowy. We rarely saw people (did anyone actually live in these houses around us?), much less got to know them. After getting discouraged from months of this and what seemed like little “progress”, the Spirit began to encourage us that our responsibility was to be faithful in prayer. We could trust Him that our prayers were being heard and that 'seeds' were being sown that would be 'reaped' in the summer. With the arrival of warmer weather, we have been able to meet many of the kids, and we are hoping to connect with their parents as well.
But now, just over the past month, I'm learning that I live in a depressing, discouraging, dysfunctional, dark world. It's very evident here. The kids we see playing outside treat each other terribly, and that's their normal. They play and hang out together, but cruelty in words and physical actions can be ever present. One girl, not even yet in high school, has cut in the past, and the other day she showed me and some other kids that she had cut 'slut' and 'whore' into her stomach some time ago. Oh, and she was high as she told us this. It was the 7-year old girl who pointed it out—I'm a naive middle-class girl, I don't have the street smarts to pick up on things like that very quickly. But the 7-year old does...
There's a unique mix of Caucasian kids and immigrant kids and kids who don't even live in the neighbourhood. I think the hard part about this is that these kids are teetering on the edge of a precarious cliff. They could grow up but never really grow out of their backgrounds and childhood experiences. Or, perhaps, somehow, they might escape. Many of the children have first-generation immigrant parents, who came to Canada, presumably to have a better life for themselves and their children. We only hope some of these kids will not end up in gangs. I, along with my roommates, feel powerless in the face of the darkness these kids experience and are part of every day. Father, have mercy on their souls!
We see so much hunger in our neighbours though. We had a little outdoor Christmas party and personally knocked on every door to hand out an invitation. One couple, immigrants from India and Dubai 3 years ago, told us it was their first invitation to anything in Canada. They were so grateful for the prospect of Canadian friends. Other neighbours were excited that there was an opportunity to meet others. The kids knock on our doors almost everyday because they're bored. When T., our one male team member, and B., my fiance, hang around outside, they're the most popular people around. The kids are magnetized by positive interactions with older guys.
As I reflect on these realities that we have actively and intentionally exposed ourselves to, I am beginning to realize that the only possible hope for any of us is Jesus. I knew that before, but now I know it in a fresh way today. I am desperate for the hope he offers me and them. The only possible way we will be or do anything that will make the slightest difference here is Jesus. I must listen to his voice and follow the whisper of the Spirit. And I must only listen to his voice. There are many other voices: discouragement, deceit, history, probability, my own insecurities—all saying that this is normal, this is life, this cannot change, there are hurts are too deeply rooted, and lies too long believed. But the voice of Jesus says “There is sin everywhere, but I have the power to forgive sins—I became sin so that they might become the righteousness of God! There are lies, but the truth sets people free!” I believe that if I will listen, I will hear Jesus speaking truth to me about my neighbours. I need to hear the truth. I will hear him talk to me about what he is already doing, and I can follow him there.
May it be so.
*Not her real name. But I imagine in another universe this name would suit her quite well. :)
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