As newlyweds, my
husband and I settled into a comfortable rhythm: work, groceries, exploring the
city and enjoying dinner with friends. Our conversations were fairly
predictable and ministry became something we did a few hours a week.
Despite having
been passionate about spreading Jesus’ love while in campus ministry, we found
ourselves struggling to engage with those outside of our church bubble.
Jolted to reality,
we realized something had to change. Rather than being salt and light, we had
been cocooning ourselves in married life, work and the pursuit of comfort.
That summer, my
husband and I went to a dinner and a wedding that changed our lives; where we
were challenged with Christ’s commands to “love your neighbour”. Within 3
months, we moved into a downtown neighbourhood to join a team of like-minded
Christians in praying for and loving our neighbours.
Our marriage as we
knew it took a hit: gone were the days of playing Monopoly Deal until boredom
settled.
Instead, our
marriage is now the scene of questioning assumptions and taking risks: as we love our neighbours and operate as a
team. Slowly, we are learning to cling to God and one another more deeply as we
enjoy the crazy adventure that is being ‘moved in’.
While it is a
challenging venture, I’d like to share 4 ways that moving in has infused our
marriage with much-needed purpose, unity and joy:
1. New-ness: As we
began to be “on mission together”, I saw new qualities, skills and passions in
my husband. He was the man I gathered courage from as we knocked on doors to
give out muffins and meet our neighbours. He became a teammate to new friends,
offering godly wisdom and entertainment at every turn. With his familiarity
with South Asian culture and Hindi, he befriended immigrants and refugees, tutoring,
celebrating, and eating together.
Our everyday
conversations were transformed as we discovered new things about each other while
serving and living intentionally in our community.
2. Generosity with
Resources: We used to lend God a few hours a week for Bible study, church and
ministry; the rest was ours. In our teammates and in the Bible we saw a
different approach: our life’s purpose is God’s glory. At work, at home, at
play—we were being invited to live for God and give every moment to Him in
praise.
Sometimes, this
means we close the laptop and visit a neighbour in the hospital after a long
day at work. Sometimes it means we miss a party in order to sit Afghani-style
on our neighbour’s floor and share a meal.
The time we spend
together loving our neighbours and persevering in prayer bonds us. We often leave
prayer meetings and neighbour visits with new ideas, conquered fears, broken
hearts and renewed desire for God.
3. Prayer: As a newly
married couple, we struggled in prayer. Despite heartfelt pledges to pray
together regularly, our follow-through on family prayer was a major area of
challenge.
As MoveIners, we are
committed to weekly prayer meetings with our team. In the first few months, my
husband and I prayed more together than we had in our entire marriage
previously. As we prayed, God grew us in our desire to pray individually, as a
couple and corporately.
4. Community: I’ve
heard that marriage isn’t meant to be two people looking at each other, but two
people side by side walking toward a common destination. As we served alongside
our teammates, laboring in prayer, sharing tears and meals, celebrating
birthdays and organizing neighbourhood events, my husband and I found ourselves
in the midst of a community unlike any we had ever known.
Like a healthy
marriage, our friendships on our team aren’t build on us spending time with us,
but on all of us walking together in a common purpose.
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Moving in as a
married couple is not easy. It requires negotiation, sacrifice, deference,
communication and the ability to set boundaries. For my husband and I, it’s
meant growing as individuals and as a couple, walking together as we’re
stretched spiritually, and finding in one another support as we learn to love
our neighbours, our team, God and each other.
*Not her real name. It was changed cause she's a super spy... Or simply out of respect to those she lives and serves with. You choose.
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