So I'm lying in bed. It's 1030, I should be sleeping since I have a 530am shift awaiting me on the other side of the moon. And yet to my body it is not quite bed time since it's before midnight.
This leaves me alone in the dark with nothing more than my thoughts and a 6gig data plan. FB, Twitter, and instagram pacify me for a mere 10 minutes. And after my last double tap I'm once again left with my thoughts...
I've been having some interesting talks lately. You see summer is in it's closing action and love has been in the air. Friends have gotten engaged, married, found their "soul mates", gone ring shopping, had their wildest dreams come true and others their hearts broken in two. (If you think I'm exaggerating. Crunch these numbers. This year to date I've been to one wedding, invited to 9, been or will be bridesmaid in 2. 4 couples engaged, one gone on a shopping trip :p, and another "promise ringed" lol I know I didn't know they still existed either ;p) I did not include the weddings/engagements of people I know but am not close to.
All this to say, there's a lotta love in my world. And to be honest I am glad about it. It is awesome to see God work in people's lives and in the way only He can bring 2 individuals out of their world and make the one. It's beautiful. It's joyful. And DRENCHED in the gospel. I love it. I love that young people STILL BELIEVE in marriage. I love that we as a generation of young Christians are stepping out in faith and choosing to love, choosing to commit and proving all the statisticians, pundits, cynics, and haters wrong along the way.
I love it all but what I've noticed in the process is that while some people are having the time of their life, to which they are completely due, some others not so much. I can't speak for the brothers but I know a lot of girls who are finding singleness difficult in this season.
It's interesting cause in their struggle some press in to God and lean in on Him for identity and comfort. And others are bombarded with depression, desperation, doubts about God, themselves, and their world. And in some cases it leads to some wonderful, beautiful, gifted women of God choosing the gift over the Giver, putting their God hat and taking matters in their own hands. Which inevitably leads to compromise.
At that point you watch the wreckage begin. As friends become scarce, God becomes silent, and boundaries are overstepped, crossed, and outright thrown out the window.
And as you watch this tragedy, you weep, you pray, and wonder how one gets to that place. A friend and I talked about it today. And I've come to conclude that this happens when we take our eyes off God (the giver of good gifts) and obsess about said gifts or lack thereof in our lives.
Now don't get me wrong it is healthy, natural and beautiful to desire companionship, love, marriage, and all the rest. But it becomes dangerous when these desires override biblical truth, convictions, and straight up common sense.
So here I am thinking about all this in my drowsy state and asking God about it all, as I have been for a while. I know enough to know that no one is a fortress or immune to falling and in these season where the world seems obsessed with "love" I recognise the temptation to wollow, or pine for what I don't have. And although I can't fix it all for everyone, I know that for myself, I can choose to fix my eyes where it counts: The cross.
I may not live to see the sun rise, or to walk down the aisle with my beloved, whoever he may be. BUT I can live to know and love the lover of my soul. Trust that He is ever in control. And that this season, though sometimes, hard, lonely, and seemingly endless (lol) is just that. A season. And just as summer will soon turn to fall, it too will pass. So why miss out on the beauty of God in the summertime, pining over winter when winter will come in it's time? :)
In that heart, He keeps me humble, makes me joyful, And reminds me of just how good He is. And for that I'm grateful.
And to the sisters, though you have done all to stand, stand and stand some more. It's worth it. God is worth waiting on. You are worth waiting for. Do not let yourself be defined by your relationship status. You are so much more than that. No. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not "old" or past your prime. And yes, it is okay to tell mom, dad, grandma, or your bff to shut up when they say anything to the contrary.
You are loved. Cherished. Valued. Beautiful. And a delight to your Father. Dwell on THAT. Revel in His love, goodness, faithfulness, and radical devotion to you. It's all you'll ever need.
As I start to fall into a slumber I am reminded of some words that have resonated with so many in the past 2 years and I will leave here as an encouragement and reminder.
I am thankful for this woman's gift and passion for the Lord. And this piece will ever stay on my list of favourites.
May it bless strengthen and encourage.
:)
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